Time of Need
by slery
Summary: In grief, we all have a time of need.


Title: Time of Need

Author: slery

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Rating: FRC gen

Characters: BAU team

Spoilers: 5x10 The Slave of Duty

Summary: In grief, we all have a time of need.

Disclaimer: I own nothing (literally), so suing really wouldn't be worth your time or effort. I am making no money and only writing for the love of the characters and the lives they need to carry on beyond the one hour a week we get.

I can't believe how hot a black suit can make you when you feel like your heart has frozen over. Jack's little hand is slippery in mine and I am afraid that I will lose my hold on him. The words being spoken just wash over me but I raise my eyes to stare at my team standing across from me.

My team, my other family. Emily, yeah, this is a time for first names, actually looks classy in her black attire. I guess being an ambassador's daughter really drilled some things into her. Even Garcia managed to pull some black out for the occasion including black glasses. She might be in mourning clothes but still so very much Garcia (she somehow is still Garcia instead of Penelope) that the tiniest of smiles tries to tug at the corner of my lips. It doesn't succeed but it was a nice try.

Derek is the very picture of a strong man at a funeral. Composed, yet solemn, it doesn't wipe away the sadness in his eyes. Dave is simply stoic. For some reason, I get the feeling that there is something up with him. It almost feels like he is trying to take over the team. I know he has had a hard time fitting in but somewhere along the way after he stayed behind with Derek to help Spencer I thought he had made his place and his peace with being a team member.

Then there is JJ. Her tears are running freely and she holds nothing back. But even in her own grief she is offering comfort to Spencer. Bless her heart that she is trying to be subtle by crossing her arms at the waist and holding his hand under her elbow.

Spencer, the tears fall from my eyes again when I look at him. He looks heart-broken, tears flowing freely and small hitches in his breathing. We didn't get to do it often but he loved spending time with me and Haley and Jack while we were still together. She never let him feel like a guest and always included him in everything, even making him help with the dishes. He loved it; it was as close to a normal family as he had ever been. Spencer didn't like talking about it much but he did say that his mother was sick his whole life and even before his father left, they were never normal in their home life.

Derek is the first of the team to come over. He really is able to be a leader.

"Hotch, is there anything you need done? Clothes for Jack to change into, someone to drive you to the dinner?"

"No, I've got that covered and I'd like some alone time with Jack before being with everyone again." He clasps my forearm and gives me a manly hug with a strong pat to the back. Before I let go of his arm, "Do me a favor."

"Sure, anything."

"Give Spencer your arm to lean on. The ground is really rough out here and he won't ask for help."

"I'll try but you know how he can be."

"Don't try Derek. Just do it. He is still having more problems than he wants to let on."

"Okay, I'll do it."

Everyone offers their condolences and I tell them I'll see them in a little bit which is all the placating I can do. Then I see JJ slowly walking up with Spencer. She keeps his arm tightly wrapped in hers until she lets go to step over and give me and Jack both a quick hug. "Do you need me to take Jack to the dinner for you?"

"No, but thanks for the offer. And I made Morgan promise to help Reid so you can go on ahead."

She gives me as cheery a smile as she can manage and then I am left staring at Spencer. He looks so unsteady that I walk over to him instead and wrap my arms around him tightly.

"I can't believe sh-she's gone, Aaron."

"I know. I keep thinking that I can just pick up the phone and mad or not she'll be on the other end."

He pulls out of my arms and wipes at his eyes with his left hand. "What happens now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you coming back to the BAU?"

I sigh. I know where this is going. "Spencer, I don't know what I am going to do right this instance. I know that I need to figure out how to be there for Jack."

"You're a good fa-father." Spencer stutters out and it pulls at my heart to see him in this kind of pain.

"I'm not Gideon." The very mention of that name causes him to shudder and I feel bad for bringing it up but I don't want him to hurt like this.

"I'm not Gideon and no matter what happens with the job you are still welcome in my family. I'm not just going to disappear on you, Spencer."

"'kay," Spencer can't meet my eyes now so I motion for Derek.

Jack reaches over and tugs on Spencer's coat, "When are you coming over again?"

"I don't know." He whispers.

I pick Jack up and bring him to eye level with us. "He'll be coming over soon. What book do you want him to bring this time?"

"Stars. The one with all the names." Jack rubs his eyes and then lays his head on my shoulder. "Won't he forget which book?"

"I never forget, Jack. I promise. When daddy says he's ready for visitors I'll be the first one there."

"Mommy said you're not a visitor. You don't have to wait. You come anytime. Family don't have to ask."

We look at each other and then I nod at Derek.

"Come on Reid, you're riding with me." He wraps Spencer's left arm around his and when they start to walk away I see the surprise on his face at how much of Spencer's weight he has to bear.

The End


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